Categorizing Lives – Mary’s Story

I do a lot of categorizing in my life, which is how I explain marrying a preacher type. My mother was a teacher, my father became a preacher, and the majority of my family on my mom’s side does one or the other. When someone new remarks about me being a preacher’s wife, I tell them, “in my family you either teach or preach or you marry someone that does.”

Most of my “preacher’s wife” stage of life, I have felt categorized, classified, and stigmatized. Even though I was married for almost ten years before my husband became a preacher, it seems as though we were never anything else. I am 56 now, and proud of it…I have earned every wrinkle, gray hair, and extra pound I have on me. I have lived with chronic pain and illness issues for nearly twenty years now and continued to work, raise my family, and helped my husband in full-time ministry. Over ten years ago I stopped working because my health and pain levels would not cooperate any longer and now I am, according to the government, disabled. My age and employable status are, however, not all that I am or all that I will ever be. I am me, a woman who was once a child, now a wife, mom, grandma, aunt, sister, niece, cousin, daughter, and most importantly, child of God! I always love, but don’t always show it right. I don’t always say the right thing nor have the right attitude, but I sure do try. I love to speak and write, but I also love to play video games, crochet and go kayaking! I love photography, nature, my dogs and shopping, but all of these things do not define me. I am a great many things and God knits them together to make a whole me and without Him I could not survive. What category would that all fit in? I think the best one to place me in, would be the Mary category…just being who God created me to be.

I love how beautifully a scene in the movie, “The Last Holiday,” describes God’s image of us. In the kitchen of a grand hotel, the chef is explaining about the baby turnips he is going to cook. “Poor baby turnips – nobody likes them. Of course life is easy if you are a truffle or shitake mushroom. But the turnip is to be loved because she is a self-made woman of the vegetables. All the others you can only destroy with cooking…but the turnip, she gets better. It’s not how you start, but how you finish.”

I especially love that last part, “it’s not how you start, but how you finish!” I thank God that He doesn’t label us. He doesn’t put us in a box or a category and leave us there. If we leave ourselves open to a bit of “cooking,” we can only get better! How exciting! I appreciate all that I have been, all that I am and I also look forward to what I will become. Watch out – God isn’t done with me yet! And He isn’t done with you, either!

“I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.” Philippians 3:14


Mary is the wife of Dale, mother to Matt, Nate and Maegy, and Mother-in-law to Michael and Amber.  She is “Grammy” to Elijah, Asher and Bennett. She lives in the Pacific Northwest and is a full-time pastor’s wife and part time daycare to her 3 year old and 6 month old grandboos. She has a side business called “Leaf It To Me,” making and painting cement leaf castings and speaks for various women’s events around the NW.  From time-to-time you can find her sporadic ramblings on Facebook or at



13 thoughts on “Categorizing Lives – Mary’s Story

  1. Beautiful encouragement! So many years I lived thinking that being a “listener” or “more on quiet reflective side” was some sort of flaw that even God wanted me to get over! The world makes you feel less than in so many ways! But I am so grateful to God too, as you say, that He doesn’t put labels on us! And He is pleased with who He has made us to be! Blessings to you today! Visiting from Thoughtful Thurs. blog hop 🙂

  2. I LOVE it when women are proud of their wrinkles 🙂 So nice to “meet” you here. What a wonderful reminder that God isn’t done with us and that it doesn’t matter where we are as much as it matters where we will be when He is done! Thank you…

  3. This is great! Even though our most important identity is in Christ, people come in all flavors and types. And what I do, what I like, who I spend time with does not define me and may change. #freedominChrist

  4. What a lovely post Mary. I love when we find our “identity” in Christ… isn’t that what our Lord wants of us? To be who He created us to be and to shine like Him in the world.

    Thanks for sharing (and for linking up to the #SHINEblog hop).

    Wishing you a lovely weekend.

  5. You have a beautiful story. But it’s not done yet! I love this: ” I appreciate all that I have been, all that I am and I also look forward to what I will become.” Thanks for sharing your wonderful attitude. May it be contagious to the rest of us.

  6. It’s so easy to put ourselves in boxes and categories, isn’t it. We let other people do it to us. We so often do it to ourselves. I, too, am learning that “me” can include all kinds of things and it’s Ok to change over time as we’re “cooking” … Thank you for linking with Unforced Rhythms.

  7. Pingback: National Adoption Month Series: Mary’s Story | Made to Mother

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s